Category Archives: Dick Cheney

The hater/dumbass connection

My favorite haters:

Top of the list, Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist church. In case that name doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the nutcase that has been picketing soldiers funerals with signs that say – God Hates Fags! I know. It doesn’t make any sense, but like religion and pornography, there’s always something for everyone’s taste. (The pornographic equivalent to Phelps’ religion is “2 Girls 1 Cup.”)

You might be interested to know that on April 4th a federal judge ordered liens on the Westboro Baptist Church building and the Phelps-Chartered Law office for $5 million. Somehow they incurred that much in damages from picketing one of those military funerals.

Walls close in on Phelpses
Judge orders liens on church building, law office

David Tuason is the other side of the hater coin. (Heads is Stalin, Tails is Cheney) Tauson is an African-American racist that was indicted on April 8th for sending over 200 death-threat-tirade letters and e-mails over the last twenty years. Other than sending death threats to supreme court justice Clarence Thomas, Tauson also threatened to kill the entire Kent State University women’s basketball team and jazz singer Al Jarreau. (I suspect many people feel this way, Tuason may be the first to vocalize it.) But seriously, how can you hate Al Jarreau?
Pepper Pike man indicted for racist threats

What do these top notch haters have in common with hater Richard Colvin Reid – the shoe bomber? On first impression Phelps’ and Tauson’s face paint the picture of guys that just got off the crazy train with tickets to agitation island. Reid looks like he’s still riding the short bus to middle school.
In case you haven’t heard, Reid almost succeeded. The only hitch in his plan was the hater/dumbass connection. He couldn’t light the match. He forgot to bring the striking surface from the matchbox. Reid’s idiotic behavior spawned more of the same when his trial court handed down three life sentences + 20 years on 4 other charges, + 30 years on four other counts, to be served consecutively, followed by five years of supervised release. He was also fined 2 million dollars. It’s good to know he’ll be supervised when he gets out after his lifetime. I want to hold the court to that promise and have them approve a detail to watch over his corpse for 5 years.

How does a sentence like this happens? I like to believe the judge leaves the game “Boggle for Juries,” in their sequestered location. (6 dice containing years of incarceration, 10 dice listing most major felonies.) Although, this time I think this jury rolled more than once. Reid is currently in ADX Florence, a Supermax prison in Florence, Colorado where I imagine he sits in his cell all day striking matches. (I’m still lobbying Boggle for “a kick in the balls” side to one of the dice.)

The most important aspect of Richard Reid’s case is that I am forced to take off my shoes while going thru airport security. For that alone Reid should be put in a human size trash compactor with the guy who invented the subscription cards that pepper magazines. And if we can find the cable executive that first okay’ed the commercial banners that rise up on the bottom of my T.V. screen, he’d make a perfect sandwich between those two.

They call me the “squeezin’ judge.”

It’s obvious that Reid was full of hate because he was prepared to hurt anonymous people. Yawn. At his trial he made standard terrorist accusations against this country. Most, not untrue. But if his acts were really about persuading he would of done the Buddhist monk thing and lit himself on fire. Listen to Robert McNamara (in The Fog of War) talk about the guy who torched himself in front of the Pentagon during the Vietnam war. Wow. 30 years later and McNamara’s story had an huge effect on me.
Tuason narrowed his focus of hate to blacks and whites marrying. Fred Phelps believes . . . well, I’m not sure, but I’m assuming his train of consciousness is on that same track to crazy town.

It’s all built on hate. It’s not important to distinguish the differences in hate because they all lead to the same place; Frustration Island, where you take on the persona of Daffy Duck and live like a Scientologist trying to entice others into your deranged cult. Fortunately for all of us, the crazy train’s first stop is always dumbass junction.

Advertisements

Dick Cheney in Fishnets and a Miniskirt

There comes a time in every great country when differences are set aside. When we all come together and realize as one nation what matters to us most.
Did Roger Clemens take steroids and growth hormone? I don’t know, but I think it’s important enough for our Congress to drop everything and hold hearings on this vital issue of national security in a time of war. It only seems proper to keep steering toward the iceberg. It’ll get out of the way.

After all, professional baseball isn’t just analogous to America, it’s one of the few sports that exists solely because of grain alcohol and binocular flasks. If America’s pastime was found to be somehow tainted from the illegal steroids use, I would be throughly shocked into nuanced schadenfrueden. If I couldn’t believe in baseball, I’m not sure I could believe in America. And if I can’t believe in America, I can’t believe in a 50ft Michael Jackson with lasers that come out of his eyes. Anarchy is not far behind.

With no other recourse I turned to baby infant Jesus for some help. I said, “Baby infant Jesus, what if . . ?” And I hesitated, not sure of how he’d respond. “What if Clemens was taking steroids? How can I go on?”

And Jesus came unto me and said, “Tommy, wake up!” He scared me good. I farted and he made fun of the smell. I don’t want to tell the rest of the story. He was mean.

So now I keep Jesus out of it and pray directly to God. I pray, “Dear God. Save us from your followers. Protect professional baseball. And please, give this Congress a dirty Sanchez. Amen.”

I always offer up something funny for God in my prayers. I figure most prayers go unanswered just because she’s tired of hearing about misery and pain. Last month I prayed that Dick Cheney would get a DUI while dressed as a woman. Less than a week later Judge “Robert Somma, 63, was arrested on Feb. 6 after his Mercedes-Benz hit a pickup truck on a Massachusetts road. When authorities removed him from the vehicle, they said he wore a black women’s cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels.” My prayer missed its mark. God must of thought it was funny enough to hit someone with it. Sorry Robert. Why do you suppose God keeps making Republicans the butt of her jokes? I would of thought she was finished messing with Republicans when earlier last year prominent Alabama minister Gary Aldridge was found hogtied wearing a rubber suit with a dildo up his own ass after he died from autoerotic asphyxiation.

I still think it would of been funnier if Dick Cheney was found in fishnets and a miniskirt. I’ve always imagined that he’s led an incredible secret double life. Word on the internet is . . .

. . . once every full moon Dick Cheney dresses up as Betty Page and does a special dance for his old lodge buddies. By 2:00 a.m. the peyote and vicodin take effect and the party grows into Roman man-orgy which doesn’t reach a climax until Cheney is forced to drink human blood thru a severed goat penis. But after that’s it’s straight back to work. Hard worker the Vice President.

At least that’s what it says on the internet. And we all know, if it’s on the internet, it must be true.

I keep wondering if Congress should delve into the underbelly of professional curling. Word on the net says those broom unions are a rats nest of deceit and villainy. After that Congress can have hearings on that fifth dentist that won’t endorse sugarless gum for those that chew gum. I’m pretty sure it’s Ron Paul. After that, maybe, we can get around to finding out where billions of dollars went missing in Iraq, but sometime this year I want a full investigation into Janeane Garofalo. She’s the Lillie Langtry to my Judge Roy Bean.

>Dick Cheney in Fishnets and a Miniskirt

>There comes a time in every great country when differences are set aside. When we all come together and realize as one nation what matters to us most.
Did Roger Clemens take steroids and growth hormone? I don’t know, but I think it’s important enough for our Congress to drop everything and hold hearings on this vital issue of national security in a time of war. It only seems proper to keep steering toward the iceberg. It’ll get out of the way.

After all, professional baseball isn’t just analogous to America, it’s one of the few sports that exists solely because of grain alcohol and binocular flasks. If America’s pastime was found to be somehow tainted from the illegal steroids use, I would be throughly shocked into nuanced schadenfrueden. If I couldn’t believe in baseball, I’m not sure I could believe in America. And if I can’t believe in America, I can’t believe in a 50ft Michael Jackson with lasers that come out of his eyes. Anarchy is not far behind.

With no other recourse I turned to baby infant Jesus for some help. I said, “Baby infant Jesus, what if . . ?” And I hesitated, not sure of how he’d respond. “What if Clemens was taking steroids? How can I go on?”

And Jesus came unto me and said, “Tommy, wake up!” He scared me good. I farted and he made fun of the smell. I don’t want to tell the rest of the story. He was mean.

So now I keep Jesus out of it and pray directly to God. I pray, “Dear God. Save us from your followers. Protect professional baseball. And please, give this Congress a dirty Sanchez. Amen.”

I always offer up something funny for God in my prayers. I figure most prayers go unanswered just because she’s tired of hearing about misery and pain. Last month I prayed that Dick Cheney would get a DUI while dressed as a woman. Less than a week later Judge “Robert Somma, 63, was arrested on Feb. 6 after his Mercedes-Benz hit a pickup truck on a Massachusetts road. When authorities removed him from the vehicle, they said he wore a black women’s cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels.” My prayer missed its mark. God must of thought it was funny enough to hit someone with it. Sorry Robert. Why do you suppose God keeps making Republicans the butt of her jokes? I would of thought she was finished messing with Republicans when earlier last year prominent Alabama minister Gary Aldridge was found hogtied wearing a rubber suit with a dildo up his own ass after he died from autoerotic asphyxiation.

I still think it would of been funnier if Dick Cheney was found in fishnets and a miniskirt. I’ve always imagined that he’s led an incredible secret double life. Word on the internet is . . .

. . . once every full moon Dick Cheney dresses up as Betty Page and does a special dance for his old lodge buddies. By 2:00 a.m. the peyote and vicodin take effect and the party grows into Roman man-orgy which doesn’t reach a climax until Cheney is forced to drink human blood thru a severed goat penis. But after that’s it’s straight back to work. Hard worker the Vice President.

At least that’s what it says on the internet. And we all know, if it’s on the internet, it must be true.

I keep wondering if Congress should delve into the underbelly of professional curling. Word on the net says those broom unions are a rats nest of deceit and villainy. After that Congress can have hearings on that fifth dentist that won’t endorse sugarless gum for those that chew gum. I’m pretty sure it’s Ron Paul. After that, maybe, we can get around to finding out where billions of dollars went missing in Iraq, but sometime this year I want a full investigation into Janeane Garofalo. She’s the Lillie Langtry to my Judge Roy Bean.

Dick Cheney Jokes and the Search for a New Candidate

Once again I have mixed feelings about this race to the Whitehouse. What about the disenfranchised? We need a dark horse candidate. We need Leslie Alicia Cochran. For those of you who are not from Austin, Leslie is our resident homeless and celebrated transvestite. A few years back he ran for mayor and garnered almost three thousand votes. While Leslie may be a little off kilter he’s well spoken. I’ve spent some time with the man. For an entire summer I gave him a ride downtown from Bee Caves. He’s seems nice enough, although, even though I’ve spent hours with him, every time we meet he has no idea who I am. You know, like every other candidate.

We need a candidate that would add color to a debate stage. I was stoked when Stephen Colbert ran in South Carolina. For the first time in forever a pundit had a chance of controlling a delegate. Knowing Colbert, the Democratic Convention would of never been the same. Once again I have to mention the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You can check it out at:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-86918391775857487

Our job as citizens is to judge these candidates as people and decide for ourselves if they are worthy of our support. How can anyone judge these people? By their very nature, Presidential Candidates are practiced at not revealing anything personal, deep or real about themselves. I have noticed that one way to gauge their real personality is to watch their reactions when confronted with the silly or the humorous. Can they make a joke? Can they tell a good one?

It’s only thru the inane that candidates are forced to let their guard down. I’ve been saving a question for years. I haven’t had the chance to hit a Republican candidate with it yet. If someone uses this, please e-mail me back and let me know how it played out.

The question: “If Jesus Christ returned to earth tomorrow and ordered you, as your professed savior, to have sex with him, would you?”

You know the candidate would be worth supporting if he gave a detailed description of how he would sexually satisfy our lord. I mean, he has too, doesn’t he? If Jesus is your lord and savior, and he orders you to do something, how can you say no? I’ll tell you how. You can say no if you don’t have enough faith. And you can say no if you hate Jesus.
_________________

Dick Cheney Fun Facts: an addendum to Jon Stewart’s “You don’t know Dick.”

The first rule of Dick Cheney; you do not talk about Dick Cheney.

It is impossible to charge Dick Cheney with “obstruction of justice.” This is because Cheney cannot be in two places at the same time.

In the intelligence community, death is referred to as the “Dick Cheney Disease.”

Whenever Dick Cheney travels to France, they surrender.

Dick Cheney once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Dick Cheney sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Dick Cheney was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Dick Cheney can slam a revolving door.

Dick Cheney doesn’t play god. Playing is for children.

Dick Cheney can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

In an act of great philanthropy, Dick Cheney made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

Dick Cheney brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

Dick Cheney’s version of a “chocolate milkshake” is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

Dick Cheney doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Dick Cheney can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Dick Cheney once fought a grown male badger out of its den with only his teeth.

Dick Cheney starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, half a pound of pure Colombian cocaine, and twenty ounces of rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe. (This one may just be an urban legend, but to date the Vice President has never denied any of it.)

When Dick Cheney goes to eat Mexican, he orders a whole Mexican but only eats his soul.

Why did Dick Cheney cross the road? No one has ever dared question his motives.

Dick Cheney can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Dick Cheney’s body temperature is 98.6 degrees… Celsius.

Dick Cheney’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Dick Cheney lost his virginity before his dad did.

Dick Cheney doesn’t consider it sex if the woman lives.

Dick Cheney invented American flag pants.
_____________

My favorite jokes:
_____________

A man walked into his psychiatrist’s office with a concerned look.
“Doc, I’m worried. I’m having that dream again.”
“Which dream is that?”
“You know,” said the man, “the one where I’m into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia. Should I be worried? Or am I just beating a dead horse?!”
___________

For some reason this joke sounds funnier if you imagine that Christopher Walken is telling it:
______________

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, I’m really worried about this dot I’ve developed in the middle of my forehead. It showed up last week and it hasn’t gone away.”
The doctor looks at his forehead and says, “I’ve only seen this in my medical books, but I am certain that this is what is happening. Within the next few months, you will sprout a full-sized penis from the middle of your forehead!”

“You mean to tell me that every day when I get out of bed and look in the mirror, I’m going to see a penis growing from my forehead?”

“Oh, goodness no, of course not,” said the doctor. “The balls will cover your eyes.”
_____________

Now, I think this last one is hysterical. What is wrong with me? Everyone I tell it to just rolls their eyes.
_____________

Three blind mice walked into a pub.
As they couldn’t observe their surroundings, it would be unfair to derive humor from this.

____________

Rudy Giuliani is to 9/11 as ___________ is to 9/11.
Answer: Reno.

_____________

Knock, knock Rudy. Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget.

>Dick Cheney Jokes and the Search for a New Candidate

>Once again I have mixed feelings about this race to the Whitehouse. What about the disenfranchised? We need a dark horse candidate. We need Leslie Alicia Cochran. For those of you who are not from Austin, Leslie is our resident homeless and celebrated transvestite. A few years back he ran for mayor and garnered almost three thousand votes. While Leslie may be a little off kilter he’s well spoken. I’ve spent some time with the man. For an entire summer I gave him a ride downtown from Bee Caves. He’s seems nice enough, although, even though I’ve spent hours with him, every time we meet he has no idea who I am. You know, like every other candidate.

We need a candidate that would add color to a debate stage. I was stoked when Stephen Colbert ran in South Carolina. For the first time in forever a pundit had a chance of controlling a delegate. Knowing Colbert, the Democratic Convention would of never been the same. Once again I have to mention the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You can check it out at:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-86918391775857487

Our job as citizens is to judge these candidates as people and decide for ourselves if they are worthy of our support. How can anyone judge these people? By their very nature, Presidential Candidates are practiced at not revealing anything personal, deep or real about themselves. I have noticed that one way to gauge their real personality is to watch their reactions when confronted with the silly or the humorous. Can they make a joke? Can they tell a good one?

It’s only thru the inane that candidates are forced to let their guard down. I’ve been saving a question for years. I haven’t had the chance to hit a Republican candidate with it yet. If someone uses this, please e-mail me back and let me know how it played out.

The question: “If Jesus Christ returned to earth tomorrow and ordered you, as your professed savior, to have sex with him, would you?”

You know the candidate would be worth supporting if he gave a detailed description of how he would sexually satisfy our lord. I mean, he has too, doesn’t he? If Jesus is your lord and savior, and he orders you to do something, how can you say no? I’ll tell you how. You can say no if you don’t have enough faith. And you can say no if you hate Jesus.
_________________

Dick Cheney Fun Facts: an addendum to Jon Stewart’s “You don’t know Dick.”

The first rule of Dick Cheney; you do not talk about Dick Cheney.

It is impossible to charge Dick Cheney with “obstruction of justice.” This is because Cheney cannot be in two places at the same time.

In the intelligence community, death is referred to as the “Dick Cheney Disease.”

Whenever Dick Cheney travels to France, they surrender.

Dick Cheney once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Dick Cheney sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Dick Cheney was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Dick Cheney can slam a revolving door.

Dick Cheney doesn’t play god. Playing is for children.

Dick Cheney can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

In an act of great philanthropy, Dick Cheney made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

Dick Cheney brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

Dick Cheney’s version of a “chocolate milkshake” is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

Dick Cheney doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Dick Cheney can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Dick Cheney once fought a grown male badger out of its den with only his teeth.

Dick Cheney starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, half a pound of pure Colombian cocaine, and twenty ounces of rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe. (This one may just be an urban legend, but to date the Vice President has never denied any of it.)

When Dick Cheney goes to eat Mexican, he orders a whole Mexican but only eats his soul.

Why did Dick Cheney cross the road? No one has ever dared question his motives.

Dick Cheney can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Dick Cheney’s body temperature is 98.6 degrees… Celsius.

Dick Cheney’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Dick Cheney lost his virginity before his dad did.

Dick Cheney doesn’t consider it sex if the woman lives.

Dick Cheney invented American flag pants.
_____________

My favorite jokes:
_____________

A man walked into his psychiatrist’s office with a concerned look.
“Doc, I’m worried. I’m having that dream again.”
“Which dream is that?”
“You know,” said the man, “the one where I’m into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia. Should I be worried? Or am I just beating a dead horse?!”
___________

For some reason this joke sounds funnier if you imagine that Christopher Walken is telling it:
______________

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, I’m really worried about this dot I’ve developed in the middle of my forehead. It showed up last week and it hasn’t gone away.”
The doctor looks at his forehead and says, “I’ve only seen this in my medical books, but I am certain that this is what is happening. Within the next few months, you will sprout a full-sized penis from the middle of your forehead!”

“You mean to tell me that every day when I get out of bed and look in the mirror, I’m going to see a penis growing from my forehead?”

“Oh, goodness no, of course not,” said the doctor. “The balls will cover your eyes.”
_____________

Now, I think this last one is hysterical. What is wrong with me? Everyone I tell it to just rolls their eyes.
_____________

Three blind mice walked into a pub.
As they couldn’t observe their surroundings, it would be unfair to derive humor from this.

____________

Rudy Giuliani is to 9/11 as ___________ is to 9/11.
Answer: Reno.

_____________

Knock, knock Rudy. Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget.

My first try at writing a political speech

I currently count myself as just another out-of-work writer, but I think I’ve got a handle now on how to write political speeches. Uber-expensive polls rate important words that must be then implemented into political speeches. Not ideas or rhetoric, just the words. Without ever knowing exactly what these current money words are I can guess that one of them is, ‘change.’ (Not a hard guess.)

For Rudy Giuliani I can assume one of his power words is ‘nine-eleven.’ So, I thought I’d write a speech for Rudy. He needs the help. Most of the N.Y. fire fighters and N.Y. police hate his guts. So, here’s my attempt at political speech writing.. . .

Mr. Giuliani:

Good evening. Since the dark days of nine-eleven I’ve thought about little else but change. Change in the only way change can occur post nine-eleven. Change brought to you by nine-eleven. Change for change sake. And lets not forget, nine-eleven not only changed the way we do business; it has changed the very way we change change.

As I was thinking about change in those dark days of nine-twelve and nine-thirteen, I couldn’t help but think of the change needed because of nine-eleven. So I started calling “nine-twelve,” – “nine-eleven and change.” “Nine-thirteen” was “nine-eleven and more change.” By the time I got to nine-fourteen, it was “change plus nine-eleven,” which didn’t end there. Remember, change never ends, until you reach nine dollars and eleven cents. Only then is it nine-eleven without change.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Nine-eleven.

____________

I don’t want to give away too much. You’ll have to hear the rest at the Republican convention. Suffice to say, the rest of the speech has many more subtle references to 9-11 and change. Professional writers like myself are able to weave these terms, almost unperceptively, into the body of the speech. If you re-read it slowly, you’ll be able to see how I did it. I know, now you want to vote for Giuliani, but wait, there’s more. Send me some money and you can change nine-eleven yourself.

On another note, I got a kick out of this. . .

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080110/tod-odd-brothel-dc-a929486.html

A polish man went to a brothel in Warsaw and found his wife working there. Don’t you just hate it when you find out your spouse is a whore? For some reason the guy was offended and now he’s getting a divorce.

Did he forget that he was going to a whore house? I’m just guessing, but wouldn’t he be able to get some kind of discount to have sex with his own wife? He should be happy. Nine-eleven.

>My first try at writing a political speech

>

I currently count myself as just another out-of-work writer, but I think I’ve got a handle now on how to write political speeches. Uber-expensive polls rate important words that must be then implemented into political speeches. Not ideas or rhetoric, just the words. Without ever knowing exactly what these current money words are I can guess that one of them is, ‘change.’ (Not a hard guess.)

For Rudy Giuliani I can assume one of his power words is ‘nine-eleven.’ So, I thought I’d write a speech for Rudy. He needs the help. Most of the N.Y. fire fighters and N.Y. police hate his guts. So, here’s my attempt at political speech writing.. . .

Mr. Giuliani:

Good evening. Since the dark days of nine-eleven I’ve thought about little else but change. Change in the only way change can occur post nine-eleven. Change brought to you by nine-eleven. Change for change sake. And lets not forget, nine-eleven not only changed the way we do business; it has changed the very way we change change.

As I was thinking about change in those dark days of nine-twelve and nine-thirteen, I couldn’t help but think of the change needed because of nine-eleven. So I started calling “nine-twelve,” – “nine-eleven and change.” “Nine-thirteen” was “nine-eleven and more change.” By the time I got to nine-fourteen, it was “change plus nine-eleven,” which didn’t end there. Remember, change never ends, until you reach nine dollars and eleven cents. Only then is it nine-eleven without change.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Nine-eleven.

____________

I don’t want to give away too much. You’ll have to hear the rest at the Republican convention. Suffice to say, the rest of the speech has many more subtle references to 9-11 and change. Professional writers like myself are able to weave these terms, almost unperceptively, into the body of the speech. If you re-read it slowly, you’ll be able to see how I did it. I know, now you want to vote for Giuliani, but wait, there’s more. Send me some money and you can change nine-eleven yourself.

On another note, I got a kick out of this. . .

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080110/tod-odd-brothel-dc-a929486.html

A polish man went to a brothel in Warsaw and found his wife working there. Don’t you just hate it when you find out your spouse is a whore? For some reason the guy was offended and now he’s getting a divorce.

Did he forget that he was going to a whore house? I’m just guessing, but wouldn’t he be able to get some kind of discount to have sex with his own wife? He should be happy. Nine-eleven.