Category Archives: Britney Spears

Democratic Candidates

After watching the debates I have a theory about the candidates. They may be about ‘change’ or know something about ‘change’ or have some ‘change’ in their pockets. I’m not sure, I fell asleep when I heard the word ‘change.’

Change, change, change, change, change.

I can only imagine the word ‘change’ was polled with voters and came back with numbers previously held with words like ‘fuck’ and ‘Gyllenhaal.’ But what strikes me as funny is the resulting conversations with the candidates before the debate.

“Good news. We spent twenty million dollars to poll forty thousand Iowan voters and found out that the word ‘change’ sends them into an orgasm. They actually ejaculate when they hear the word. If you say the word change more than twenty times, the voters will actually lite up a cigarette after the debate.”
The candidates must of believed them because it soon became a ‘change’-off.

Obama: “I am all about the change.”
Clinton: “You may be about change, but I am change.”
Edwards: “You may be change, but I’m double change.”
Obama: “Yeah, well, my change is better than your change.”
Richardson: “Okay, I never got the memo about the word change.”

I think what the electorate is looking for is a candidate that doesn’t listen to these inane polls. But once again reality sets in and I realize that you can’t get elected without jiggling your keys in front of the infant voters. Still, there’s got to be something better to say. How about, “I’m all about a non-static posture.” or “A vote for me is a vote against the status quo.” or “Vote for me and you’ll be voting against Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.”

I only put in Britney and Paris because their names generate more hits on my blog.

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>Democratic Candidates

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After watching the debates I have a theory about the candidates. They may be about ‘change’ or know something about ‘change’ or have some ‘change’ in their pockets. I’m not sure, I fell asleep when I heard the word ‘change.’

Change, change, change, change, change.

I can only imagine the word ‘change’ was polled with voters and came back with numbers previously held with words like ‘fuck’ and ‘Gyllenhaal.’ But what strikes me as funny is the resulting conversations with the candidates before the debate.

“Good news. We spent twenty million dollars to poll forty thousand Iowan voters and found out that the word ‘change’ sends them into an orgasm. They actually ejaculate when they hear the word. If you say the word change more than twenty times, the voters will actually lite up a cigarette after the debate.”
The candidates must of believed them because it soon became a ‘change’-off.

Obama: “I am all about the change.”
Clinton: “You may be about change, but I am change.”
Edwards: “You may be change, but I’m double change.”
Obama: “Yeah, well, my change is better than your change.”
Richardson: “Okay, I never got the memo about the word change.”

I think what the electorate is looking for is a candidate that doesn’t listen to these inane polls. But once again reality sets in and I realize that you can’t get elected without jiggling your keys in front of the infant voters. Still, there’s got to be something better to say. How about, “I’m all about a non-static posture.” or “A vote for me is a vote against the status quo.” or “Vote for me and you’ll be voting against Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.”

I only put in Britney and Paris because their names generate more hits on my blog.