Monthly Archives: January 2010

Life is a Ride – Bill Hicks

Life is a ride

This ride allows you to travel thru time and space. There are no guarantees. It could be a short life, a long life, a charmed life, or a long hard road full of pain and suffering. But you jump at the chance to get on this ride. New reality beats no reality.

Before this ride time did not exist. Everything happened at once. Living there, you knew everything. To enrich the experience of this ride, you separated that part of yourself that knew everything. With that done, and to our enduring amazement, this ride thru life is our new shared reality. Not knowing everything makes it fun. Not knowing how it ends keeps you awake.

Bill Hicks said, “The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever. Because this is just a ride.” And we…kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok? But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, not work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”

I miss Bill Hicks. But I wanted to ad: You don’t get penalized for going on this ride. The ride of life is not a test by God to be rewarded or punished upon completion. All we have is each other. That’s the fun of it.

Now is the best time to be alive.

Draw a time line thru the entire history of the our species. This is absolutely the best time to live. Try living a hundred years ago and you’d quickly remember how much you enjoy not walking down to the river with a bucket every time you get thirsty. It’s a thousand years ago: Remember that cut you got on your hand last week? Awww. Sorry, the infection killed you, unless you don’t mind me amputating your arm above the elbow with this old rusty knife. Without dentists I imagine you might consider just saying no.

For me, there is nothing like indoor plumbing, 500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and turning my A/C unit down to 68 degrees when it’s broiling outside.

Life is a ride and we’re lucky enough to be on the best part.

Bill Hicks: “Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration — that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.”

Teabaggers are the new People’s Front of Judea

It has taken awhile, but I’ve finally remembered where I’ve seen these teabaggers before. The Teabaggers are actually part of a group called the People’s Front of Judea. (Don’t get them confused with the Judean People’s Front.)

As an introduction, here’s the video on how you join the People’s Front of Judea. And by all means, bow down to the best rendition of “Fuck Off,” ever. John Cleese should win an Oscar for that line. Please make a note, when they mention “Romans,” they are referring to the Roman Republic of the United States of America.

And now watch the hidden camera video of a secret teabaggers meeting. Don’t forget,

“Romans,” = the United States of America.

Pat Robertson is Satan

Can you believe these guys?