Monthly Archives: February 2009

Christopher Hitchens is my God now

I’m in love with Christopher Hitchens. We need more people like this. We need more people to stand up against the horrible immorality taught by Christians, Muslims, and Jews and the rest of the psycopathic religions.

The U.N. has lost its collective mind.

Christopher Hitchens

More Christopher Hitchens

Jesus of Hate – – – hates cheese

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Athiest Pat Condell – My New Hero

Cool videos

The Sky is Falling! Get right with Jesus!

Sometimes, late at night, I turn into a Jehovah’s witness. For those of you that don’t know, JW’s is an apocalyptic cult. They’ve been preaching . . “The end times are a comin’”. . . “Better get right with Jesus!” for over a century. And who doesn’t enjoy it every time one of these cults gets it wrong? Jehovah’s witnesses have been battling a biblical accounting error since 1914. Maybe they just don’t believe enough. Is it me or does praying to Jesus for the Apocalypse turn Christianity into a schadenfreude cult?

My “end days” scenario isn’t getting much play on the cable news. What happens during the first world-wide economic collapse? My nightmare scenario: It will start and end with India vs. Pakistan.

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It’s not a Cold War

A patchwork of treaties, subsidies, tariff relief, backroom deals and outright bribery has been used like New Orleans style levies to keep these two retarded step-children from killing each other; a policy of appeasement that only adds length to the fuse. For those of you that don’t know, the U.S. Cold War didn’t really work and it ain’t over. On several occasions over the past 60 years the theory of Mutually Assured Destruction fell short. (With the acronym MAD, how could it work?) Robert McNamara gave a chilling account of the Cuban missile crisis in the documentary “The Fog of War.” (A documentary that changed the way I thought about the world.) According to McNamara and Castro, the order was given. The only thing between life and death for this entire world lay in the hands of a single Soviet submarine commander. He disobeyed orders so here we are, an Indian cold war. (Quick-E-Mart not Casino.)

But it’s not really a cold war. Don’t be fooled by the media’s moniker for this dispute. It’s a religious war. After the Mumbai attack India remained certain it could prevail in a “limited” war with Pakistan. Please note that India is not debating about how this war would not go nuclear. Religion has been breeding this animus for generations now. I’m not alone in stating, any war between India and Pakistan won’t end without nukes. So, back to the economy. . .

What happens when money isn’t worth anything? No food. No bribes. No reason not to fight. We won’t learn about the war on CNN. We’ll be notified when the sky turns brown with the radioactive soot of burning cities.

Better get right with Jesus. Day of the Apocalypse: June 12, 2010. Now worship me!

My own Fake Religion

George Carlin on God and Hell: Religion is Bullshit

My buddy Jacob over at Contextual Criticism woke me up to another great blog Unreasonable Faith – If you get a chance, check them both out.

My own fake religion

For the longest time I wanted to build my own fake religion around Fabio’s face killing a goose. March 30th, 1999, Fabio Lanzoni, was stuck in the face by a goose while riding Apollo’s Chariot (a roller coaster) at Bush Gardens. Upon hearing this most unlikely chain of events I couldn’t help but wonder, and then marvel, at the odds. Think of the congruence of events that would lead to such an event. Never in the history of roller coasters had a large eatable bird committed a Kamikaze run. (The goose itself has since been stuffed and sold on eBay The Church of Fabio must have this religious icon returned to the faithful. No doubt, in the far future, taxidermy geese will litter our cathedrals.)

A True Miracle

It’s those long odds which would drive my faith. A goose, upon spying Fabio, said to itself, ‘I hate Fabio so much, I’m going to die trying to kill him.’ (Not an unreasonable thing to think.) As if by destiny, Fabio was riding in the front row of the coaster. What are the odds of that happening? What are the odds of a goose killing itself to fight everything I am not. It was a miracle.

Then, slowly, the entire story came to light. Fabio was the celebrity guest on the maiden voyage of Apollo’s Chariot; geese had just begun nesting in the ponds surrounding the coaster. The only thing unusual was that they hit one of the few famous male models. If the Geese would of hit Zoolander, I couldn’t have been filled with less schadenfreude.

The truth: the event wasn’t a matter of chance. The odds of this happening was around 100%. If Bush Gardens had a larger advertising budget that goose may have hit Richards Simmons or Robin Leach. But that won’t mean anything to the faithful. Either this was a miracle or it wasn’t. Either you’re with us, or you’re against us.

Either you think, or you don’t.

The Death penalty according to Leviticus 20: Cursing your parents, committing adultery, making love to your step-mother or your daughter-in-law, homosexuality, beastiality – and here’s where it gets weirder than usual – it’s GOD’s decree that the man-raped animal be put to death; (as a warning to other animals?) Later, Islam picked up this twisted tradition by decreeing that women are animals. Do we really need to listen to people who build their morality on an ancient book? Why is this an argument for hate? The U.S.ofA. is one of the few countries left that deals in capitol punishment. What ever happened to Thou Shall Not Kill? Doesn’t the 10 Commandments trump Leviticus?

Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings. — Victor Stenge