>SUPPORT YOUR POLICE, BEAT YOURSELF UP

> I got to hand it to FCC Chairman Kevin Martin. He sat through the public and Congressional hearings, he listened intently, and after a thoughtful deep introspection, he told the public what we already knew. He had already made up his mind. The public hearings were a formality. Martin, you gotta have balls. Big freakin’ Stephen Colbert balls to act like that. I’m thinkin’ you were brainwashed by L. Ron Hubbard himself. What’s your thetan level? Is it just me, or does Kevin Martin give off a kind of ‘Children of the Corn’ vibe?

But fear not! There’s a whole slew of corporate Democrats will set things right. Focus groups have already approved their rhetoric, so don’t worry about what they might say; you won’t care anyway. All glory to the hypnotoad! All glory to the hypnotoad!

Picking a Corporate Democratic Candidate

I’m a little selfish when it comes to picking a candidate. My single criteria is to put Bush and his administration on trial. And not just any trial. We need one of those Italian style trials when they had hundreds of mafioso in cages surrounding the courtroom. When the guilty verdicts are handed down we’ll need a Running Man type game show to carry out the executions. If Cheney and Martin can make it through the maze of rabid baggers, they live another day. We’ll call it the General Electric’s Bagger Maze, featuring the Bud Lite dancers. – with a writer’s strike on I don’t see how they can say no.

What I’m basically saying is we need some sort of deterrent. We need some way of letting the criminals know things like this won’t be tolerated. Like Martha Stewart. One day the American people just rose up and said no to Martha’s reality. Calls were made and the tri-lateral commission handed down the verdict. Two weeks later she was indicted. It’s true. Alex Jones told me. Remember, if you read it on the internet, it has to be true.

2007. The year of the wide stance.

I got a kick out of this one. Two Sheriff’s county employee’s were punished for having an affair. Not for just having sex. They were punished for adultery. Which makes me wonder what the punishment is for lusting after my neighbor’s wife. What’s the punishment for not keeping the Sabbath holy? If I’m not supposed to covet my neighbor’s slave, does that mean I have to force him to get a slave?

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