Monthly Archives: August 2007

What’s in the Republican’s Closet?

“I am not gay,” Sen Craig said after he took the penis out of his mouth.

Now, I’m not saying all Republicans are closeted homosexuals. I’m not one to define the Republican party as homophobes full of self-loathing. They’ve done that themselves. But the psychology of their politics is clear enough.

During my infrequent request to say grace, I usually respond ( by “making that prayer my bitch”) by praying: “Please God, save us from your followers.”

Remember when the first reports of priest’s abusing little boys came out? The first reports lent everyone to say that those Priests were the few; that if you looked at the percentage of pedophiles in the population, you would see that same percentage in the priesthood. Then, more stories came out. And then more. Finally, people began wondering if all priests were pedophiles. And while that may not be the case, how many parents would want a priest take care of their 8 year old boy while they went out of town for the weekend?

Same story, different setting:

Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Florida Rep. Bob Allen and now Larry Craig are the poster children for the coming revolution in Christianity. A revolution based on closeted homosexuals everywhere. But how many are still out there?, lurking in bathroom stalls, cruising those out of the way gay clubs? The answer: All of them.

Before I start this, I want to say formally, there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. God does not care if you have sex with someone of the same sex. She just doesn’t care. I truly believe this, and I also believe that everyone who doesn’t believe this is wasting their time. Because before homosexuality became the big taboo there were other dumb rules about sex. How many practice only the missionary position? Until recently, oral sex use to be illegal in Texas. . . .etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Which begs the question, why would anyone take the time to propagate sexual taboo’s? Why the agenda? How fucked up is your sex life where you have to take the time to fuck up other people’s sex life?

In the movie “Tombstone”, Doc Holiday says, “My hypocrisy only goes so far.” A perfect line, especially considering his character. What makes it poignant is how hypocrisy for the Republicans knows no bounds.

To quote Ms. North Carolina:

“I personally believe that us as Americans are unable to do so because some of the people out there in this nation don’t have that.”

I couldn’t of put it better myself. Well, okay, I’ll try:

I personally believe that all Republican’s are closeted homosexuals full of self-loathing and regret. I personally believe that given the chance, most Republicans men would have sex with another man in a public restroom if they could be assured that they their anonymous partner had taken Jesus Christ into their heart, and bathed their hands in the blood of the land, or if they had a penis. I personally believe that Jesus was gay with all his disciples, because that’s how they rolled back then. I personally believe that Jesus would have gay sex with other men in a public toilet, and that’s why so many other Republicans are doing the same. They are just answering the question, ‘what would Jesus do?’ – you know, in a public restroom with another closeted homosexual.

What’s in the Republican’s Closet?

“I am not gay,” Sen Craig said after he took the penis out of his mouth.

Now, I’m not saying all Republicans are closeted homosexuals. I’m not one to define the Republican party as homophobes full of self-loathing. They’ve done that themselves. But the psychology of their politics is clear enough.

During my infrequent request to say grace, I usually respond ( by “making that prayer my bitch”) by praying: “Please God, save us from your followers.”

Remember when the first reports of priest’s abusing little boys came out? The first reports lent everyone to say that those Priests were the few; that if you looked at the percentage of pedophiles in the population, you would see that same percentage in the priesthood. Then, more stories came out. And then more. Finally, people began wondering if all priests were pedophiles. And while that may not be the case, how many parents would want a priest take care of their 8 year old boy while they went out of town for the weekend?

Same story, different setting:

Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Florida Rep. Bob Allen and now Larry Craig are the poster children for the coming revolution in Christianity. A revolution based on closeted homosexuals everywhere. But how many are still out there?, lurking in bathroom stalls, cruising those out of the way gay clubs? The answer: All of them.

Before I start this, I want to say formally, there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. God does not care if you have sex with someone of the same sex. She just doesn’t care. I truly believe this, and I also believe that everyone who doesn’t believe this is wasting their time. Because before homosexuality became the big taboo there were other dumb rules about sex. How many practice only the missionary position? Until recently, oral sex use to be illegal in Texas. . . .etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Which begs the question, why would anyone take the time to propagate sexual taboo’s? Why the agenda? How fucked up is your sex life where you have to take the time to fuck up other people’s sex life?

In the movie “Tombstone”, Doc Holiday says, “My hypocrisy only goes so far.” A perfect line, especially considering his character. What makes it poignant is how hypocrisy for the Republicans knows no bounds.

To quote Ms. North Carolina:

“I personally believe that us as Americans are unable to do so because some of the people out there in this nation don’t have that.”

I couldn’t of put it better myself. Well, okay, I’ll try:

I personally believe that all Republican’s are closeted homosexuals full of self-loathing and regret. I personally believe that given the chance, most Republicans men would have sex with another man in a public restroom if they could be assured that they their anonymous partner had taken Jesus Christ into their heart, and bathed their hands in the blood of the land, or if they had a penis. I personally believe that Jesus was gay with all his disciples, because that’s how they rolled back then. I personally believe that Jesus would have gay sex with other men in a public toilet, and that’s why so many other Republicans are doing the same. They are just answering the question, ‘what would Jesus do?’ – you know, in a public restroom with another closeted homosexual.

Another David Hager Update!!

I wrote the President of the University of Kentucky asking why they would hire a rapist because Dr. Hager resume said he was part of the faculty of the UK school of medicine.


Here’s the response I got.



I know. It’s a little cryptic. Has he ever been employed there? Was he fired? When did that happen? These answers and more after I e-mail Douglas Boyd. Stay tuned.

Dr. Hager update!!!!!

I called over to the FDA asking of Hager was still with them. I got a call back at 5 a.m. – I guess they were looking to just leave a message – and they succeeded.

In Bushee fashion, Darnet from the FDA said that Dr. Hager was “rotated off” of the “repo committe” in June of 2005. He wasn’t fired. He didn’t quit. He was “rotated off.”

I think we’re just glad he rotated off his wife.

The king is dead, long live the king!

Dr. David Hager, the Bush administration’s poster child, endorsing spousal abuse and rape

The former poster child for spousal abuse, Ike Turner, has been usurped. The spousal abuse crown now sits atop the head of Dr. David Hager. The king is dead, long live the king!

I can’t think of a better allegory for the Bush Administration that the appointment of Dr. David Hager, the right-wing, evangelical gynecologist from Kentucky, to an FDA advisory panel for women’s health issues. It wasn’t enough that Dr. Hager recommended reading scripture as a cure for postpartum depression and bulimia, he was responsible for banning the morning after pill from over-the-counter sales. (Plan B) It begs the question, how did the man get and keep a medical license? But that’s not Dr. Hager’s claim to fame. Hager’s (now ex) wife claimed that, for the last 7 or 8 years of their marriage, he anally raped her. Hager’s response was, “I missed,” defacto claiming that he had raped her, but his penis missed the vagina and instead entered her anally. Obviously, raping is wife didn’t bother Hager, he was just worried about disapproval regarding anal sex.

But let’s not forget that Dr. Hager is a gynecologist, which begs the question, how often does he miss? “I’m sorry. It seems your fetus has been replaced by a piece of poop. Oh, wait. I’m sorry. I missed. Your fetus is fine.”

From The Nation: http://www.thenation.com/doc/20050530/mcgarvey

From the article Dr. Hager’s family vaues:

“According to Davis, Hager’s public moralizing on sexual matters clashed with his deplorable treatment of her during their marriage. Davis alleges that between 1995 and their divorce in 2002, Hager repeatedly sodomized her without her consent. Several sources on and off the record confirmed that she had told them it was the sexual and emotional abuse within their marriage that eventually forced her out. “I probably wouldn’t have objected so much, or felt it was so abusive if he had just wanted normal [vaginal] sex all the time,” she explained to me. “But it was the painful, invasive, totally nonconsensual nature of the [anal] sex that was so horrible.””

also from the interview of Ms. Davis:

“He would say, ‘Oh, I didn’t mean to have anal sex with you; I can’t feel the difference,'” Davis recalls incredulously. “And I would say, ‘Well then, you’re in the wrong business.'”

what people don’t read about is that Hager paid his wife for sex:

“By the 1980s, according to Davis, Hager was pressuring her to let him videotape and photograph them having sex. She consented, and eventually she even let Hager pay her for sex that she wouldn’t have otherwise engaged in–for example, $2,000 for oral sex, “though that didn’t happen very often because I hated doing it so much. So though it was more painful, I would let him sodomize me, and he would leave a check on the dresser,” Davis admitted to me with some embarrassment. This exchange took place almost weekly for several years.”

As a continuation of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, appointing a rapist to the FDA panel on women’s health issues goes directly to Bush’s policy of leaving no one un-raped.

Hager’s advice for women to read scripture as a cure for postpartum depression reminds me of how the Christian right wing tries to help homosexuals pray the gay away. Now, I’m not saying Hager is a closeted homosexual. Let me make that clear. Hager is a rapist, not a homosexual. (God forbid.) I imagine that if he was accused of being gay he would vehemently deny the charge. In Hager’s book, gays are an abomination unto God. (So say-ith the Lord) But, for the record, Hager has yet to contradict his wife’s account of their marriage.

I also find it remarkable that Christians like Dr. Hager turn to prayer in an effort to fix a problem with their own behavior. Free-will be damned! I can’t help but wonder how often this kind of thing goes on in the Christian community. It’s obvious that many Christians use Jesus to subjugate women, but how many good Christian wives are repeatedly raped by their husbands? What would Jesus do? According to Dr. Hager, Jesus would rape is wife. And why not? According to Dr. Hager, women are the basis for all sin and they must be punished accordingly.

You can call Dr. Hager and ask him yourself about his policy of spousal rape being good for a Christian marriage at: (859) 278-0363
Hager, W David MD – Women’s Care Center
(859) 278-0363
1720 Nicholasville Rd #413,
Lexington, KY

Karl Rove Presidential Library

The reason Bush doesn’t want Rove testifying under oath is because he’s afraid the bible will burst into flames if he touches it. Now, I’m not saying Rove is evil, but one time, a long time ago, when I saw him and no one else was around, I saw Rove strangle a baby deer with his bare hands. Okay, that never happened. But it seems like it could. I just struggle with the notion that our executive branch can be populated with sycophants that never work for the American people. We’re paying the salary for this guy. Why can’t the public know what kind of guy he is? Why can’t we get answers to simple questions?

Answering the question they want to answer

Currently, most politicians don’t answer direct questions put to them. They answer the question they want put to them. You can thank Rove for that. When Bush was running against Ann Richards, one of the striking differences in style was how Bush would hardly ever directly answer questions put to him. The local press would ask Bush about the pollution in Houston, (worst in the nation) and he’d tell you how Texas is improving education. It became pointless to have any kind of dialogue with Bush. He would only recite pre-tested propaganda.

But you can’t argue with success. Rove didn’t invent this type of rhetoric, but he surly perfected it. He was also a master of dirty tricks. Single handedly he convinced most of the redneck, racist, homophobic east Texas voters that Ann Richards was gay. All’s fair in love, war and politics, and Rove is like the flim-flam salesman that sells Springfield a monorail. So, you can’t fault him for doing his job. His job was to sell an unqualified politician to the American people. And like Springfield buying the escalator to nowhere, the American people bought the glorious turd that is President Bush.

As a society, we shouldn’t forget Rove’s contribution to Bush’s legacy. Starting now, I’m calling on all Democrats to help fund the Karl Rove Presidential Library. Bush didn’t win the election. Rove did. Bush is more of a sock puppet. It is Rove that deserves all the glory of the Bush Presidency. Admission will be twenty thousand dollars. (A donation to the Rove defense fund.) For 20k you’ll be able to hunt and kill an illegal alien on the national park it sits on. But be careful, Cheney may be already there, drunk and hunting lobbyists. You’ll also receive a gift bag full of Presidential goodies, like a Helen Thomas dart board and a Stephen Colbert voodoo doll. Inside the library will be dioramas of the administration scandals. A model of New Orleans complete with little African Americans is flushed down the drain, every hour on the hour. Sitting next to that will be the Valerie Plame exhibit. Push the button and you can hear Rove laughing at his indictment for treason by compromising an existing CIA agent. Next to that will be the weapons of mass destruction never found in Iraq. Many patrons might not like the National Security wing of the Rove Library. It involves being strip searched and having live electrodes attached to your genitalia. This kind of thing is legal under the Patriot act, not that anyone can contradict me, because our own Congress hasn’t even read it. The bathrooms will be palatial, with the toilet paper made out of old copies of the Constitution.
Have a heart. Give to the Rove Library. He needs to be remembered.

Karl Rove Presidential Library

The reason Bush doesn’t want Rove testifying under oath is because he’s afraid the bible will burst into flames if he touches it. Now, I’m not saying Rove is evil, but one time, a long time ago, when I saw him and no one else was around, I saw Rove strangle a baby deer with his bare hands. Okay, that never happened. But it seems like it could. I just struggle with the notion that our executive branch can be populated with sycophants that never work for the American people. We’re paying the salary for this guy. Why can’t the public know what kind of guy he is? Why can’t we get answers to simple questions?

Answering the question they want to answer

Currently, most politicians don’t answer direct questions put to them. They answer the question they want put to them. You can thank Rove for that. When Bush was running against Ann Richards, one of the striking differences in style was how Bush would hardly ever directly answer questions put to him. The local press would ask Bush about the pollution in Houston, (worst in the nation) and he’d tell you how Texas is improving education. It became pointless to have any kind of dialogue with Bush. He would only recite pre-tested propaganda.

But you can’t argue with success. Rove didn’t invent this type of rhetoric, but he surly perfected it. He was also a master of dirty tricks. Single handedly he convinced most of the redneck, racist, homophobic east Texas voters that Ann Richards was gay. All’s fair in love, war and politics, and Rove is like the flim-flam salesman that sells Springfield a monorail. So, you can’t fault him for doing his job. His job was to sell an unqualified politician to the American people. And like Springfield buying the escalator to nowhere, the American people bought the glorious turd that is President Bush.

As a society, we shouldn’t forget Rove’s contribution to Bush’s legacy. Starting now, I’m calling on all Democrats to help fund the Karl Rove Presidential Library. Bush didn’t win the election. Rove did. Bush is more of a sock puppet. It is Rove that deserves all the glory of the Bush Presidency. Admission will be twenty thousand dollars. (A donation to the Rove defense fund.) For 20k you’ll be able to hunt and kill an illegal alien on the national park it sits on. But be careful, Cheney may be already there, drunk and hunting lobbyists. You’ll also receive a gift bag full of Presidential goodies, like a Helen Thomas dart board and a Stephen Colbert voodoo doll. Inside the library will be dioramas of the administration scandals. A model of New Orleans complete with little African Americans is flushed down the drain, every hour on the hour. Sitting next to that will be the Valerie Plame exhibit. Push the button and you can hear Rove laughing at his indictment for treason by compromising an existing CIA agent. Next to that will be the weapons of mass destruction never found in Iraq. Many patrons might not like the National Security wing of the Rove Library. It involves being strip searched and having live electrodes attached to your genitalia. This kind of thing is legal under the Patriot act, not that anyone can contradict me, because our own Congress hasn’t even read it. The bathrooms will be palatial, with the toilet paper made out of old copies of the Constitution.
Have a heart. Give to the Rove Library. He needs to be remembered.