Monthly Archives: June 2007

In Defense of Paris Hilton

Hypocrites. At the 2007 MTV movie awards I was appalled to see the crowded auditorium burst into applause as Sara Silverman announce the Paris was going to jail the next day. Hypocrites. What really bothers me is the nonsense mantra chanted by all the Paris haters. “She’s famous for not doing anything.” It’s a mantra just as untrue and as unthinking as the haters who chant it. It’s turned into one of those catch phrases like, “where’s the beef.” It makes you sound insightful, without ever having to think.
Sure she comes from a rich family. Paris haters continually bring up her heiress status as if its some kind of scarlet ‘A.’ Do you really think she should stay at home and live off her daddy’s money? Maybe she should stay home until you approve of her.
Take a minute to consider her chosen profession. A profession that she created. (I don’t see you creating any new professions.) She’s a promoter, and a damn good one. Upscale nightclubs are just a few of the businesses that use her services to promote their openings. An appearance from Paris is guaranteed to draw a crowd and that’s just what any good business needs, especially a new business.
To her credit she had the insight to cultivate a demographic sacred to advertisers, 18 to 30 year olds – the party crowd. Make no mistake, it’s a huge demographic that advertisers lust after. (And I’ll be the first to admit, the party crowd is about at smart as cheap hairpiece.) How do you cultivate that audience? You break taboos. They love that. You flash a little tit. You party hard. You get publically drunk and make a fool of yourself. Basically, you do what they do. But we all know, doing it publically and for the paparazzi is a huge taboo. For women. Men, not so much.

It’s okay for John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky to drink to excess and make a fool of himself. After all, he has a penis. We all laughed as he sped away with the abducted sorority girl to become a U.S. Senator. It’s the American way, even if he is a P-I-G, pig. After Bluto, the party crowd then threw up (I should say vomited up) any number of party animals. For a while it was Pauley Shore and after that it was, oh, who cares. The point is, they were men. Party girls were, and still are, the big taboo. But they all follow the same formula for being icons to the party set. They have to do something outrageous and fight the pious self appointed guardians of public decency. Wooooo! Par-tay! Yeah. I know it’s dumb. But that’s what the party set wants. The party crowd doesn’t turn out for nightclubs openings for Trent Lott, and getting your picture taken doing things you are not suppose to do goes a long way with that crowd. Why? Because they are a bunch of drunk kids.
Bars, restaurants, nightclubs, grand openings and premiers, desperately need to bring in that select group of twenty year olds if they want to be successful. Why else would they fork over a hundred thousand dollars for Paris to attend?
Let’s have a little perspective. War, genocide, poverty, a failing health care system, world hunger, genocide – again, violent crime, war – again. These are things worth hating. The tobacco companies have murdered over 40,000 U.S. citizens last year, and 400,000 worldwide. This goes on year after year, but the mob is incensed because Paris got drunk and showed her breast in public. Oh, the horror; the horror.
We’ve all heard the arguments against Paris. She’s a bad role model. She’s corrupting our youth. Parents all over America are soiling themselves in fear that their little girl will watch Paris Hilton and then start snorting cocaine and partying ‘till the sun comes up. I have news for you folk. Your kids want to party till the sun comes up, because they are your kids, not because Paris is showing them how. Believe me, they already know how.
I don’t hear the mob crying about David Hasselhoff or Andy Dick being a bad role model. Have you ever seen a hard core rap video? If your worried about bad role models you need a little perspective. Misogyny, drugs, whores, money and lives of excess are played to such an extreme that it makes me consider having Paris babysit my kids. Or maybe we should compare Paris to the other great role models; Roman Catholic priests. Cultural taboos against a woman showing her breast doesn’t make the grade when we shine light on the real, actual taboo of raping children. But lets all take the time to chastise the poor little rich girl.
Maybe you are upset with Paris because she crossed one of the biggest of American cultural taboos. Sex on video tape. Oh, the humanity! If the only porn your children end up watching is Paris’ sex tape, count yourself lucky. In my book porn is less harmful than cigarettes, but if you find yourself overcome with loathing for this multi-billion dollar industry, try to focus on the hard core stuff. A video of Paris giving oral sex seems kind of tame next the Romanistic orgies that come out of the San Fernando valley.
If you are truly looking for people to despise for their values, look to our President. Misogynistic gangsters, and pedophile priests don’t hold a candle to our Commander-and-Chief. 600,000 dead Iraq’s, 3,570+ dead American servicemen, and countless others wounded, and he still hasn’t apologized for his ‘mistake.’ Making the American people complicit in torture is only the cherry on top.